Farewell, FlashForward.

It is rare that I will religiously watch a show that isn’t very good. In the case of “FlashForward,” I fully blame my two pretend boyfriends, John Cho and, of course, Dominic Monaghan. Yes, I’ve had massive crushes on the both of them for years, so the second it was officially confirmed that they’d be on a show together, I was practically already outlining the fan fiction. When the show finally premiered in all its cheesy, over-expository, totally disorganized and implausible glory, I just shrugged; I was in, anyway. Seeing Cho and Monaghan on screen in the same hour was enough to keep me there, let alone the possibility that they might (gasp) actually speak to each other at some point during the season. And hey, it wasn’t just hormones at work—they both happen to be fucking fantastic actors.

I won’t lie, though: my hormones were more than satiated, crappy as the show often was. Cho had a gun and a short fuse, and Monaghan had three-piece suits and a lot of sex. You had me at hello, ABC. And with the late season addition of Michael Ealy, I became convinced that the producers were doing extensive research on how to make my panties burst into flames.

Too much sexy in one frame

Unfortunately though, the sexy wasn’t enough to save it—it’s just been announced that “FlashForward” won’t be renewed for a second season. One of the biggest casualties of this cancellation, also included in the above photo, is Christine Woods and her ever-compelling FBI agent Janis Hawk. By far the best episode of the entire series, in my opinion, was “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road,” in which Janis is finally revealed to be a double agent.

Christine Woods as Agent Janis Hawk

Women with secrets are a dime a dozen in movies and on TV, but Woods’ Janis managed to also be fiercely intelligent, sardonic, good-hearted, and relatable, forcing us to love her even while we questioned her allegiance to our heroes. She is no small loss, and she’ll certainly be missed by this here gal.

The casting of “FlashForward” was not perfect by any means, though. Apart from Sonya Walger, Gabrielle Union, and maybe some of the child actors, the rest of the large ensemble was either helplessly “meh” or completely unwatchable. Courtney B. Vance and Joseph Fiennes, both actors I’ve really enjoyed in the past, fell into the latter category, Vance the result of not being able to move past the tradition of a stock character type and Fiennes the result of not being able to move past the challenge of an American accent.

Fiennes as Agent Mark Benford, looking just as confused as he did in every scene throughout the entire season

You know something’s wrong when you’re rooting for the hero’s wife to cheat on him.

To add insult to injury, “FlashForward” just had way too much going on at one time. In ABC’s effort to mold it into a replacement for “Lost,” the show’s writers had to keep their thumbs in a million different characters and plot points at once, most of which you couldn’t have paid me to give a shit about. The result was the retelling of the same facts over and over again, the writers assuming that Losties, the ultimate jugglers, wouldn’t get it. It was as if they were pandering to a 1999 audience instead of a 2009 one. Even those of us who can’t keep up have mastered the art of DVR and rewinding until we know the deal.

Still, I am sad to see it go. Dom and John, I hope you both find greener pastures—and better writing. And if not, you both have a standing invitation to my pants party.

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